


Hold On To Every Moment

by DrayPotter_TFLS (DrayOakenshield)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Draco's an idiot, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18493786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrayOakenshield/pseuds/DrayPotter_TFLS
Summary: "So now go do the best things in life, Take a bite of this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Make a ride of this world while you can"Draco decides to do what he thinks is best for his and Blaise's future, no one else agrees with his actions.





	Hold On To Every Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sing Me A Rare V3 2019.
> 
> Thank you to my amazing beta J for keeping me on track and pushing me on when I thought it sucked.
> 
> My song prompt: [ Hold On To The Memories](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG05D3OeJYQ)

Blaise rolled over and flung his arm out to pull his boyfriend close to cut the chill of the early fall morning. When his arm collided with nothing but cold sheets he cracked open an eye to see if Draco had gotten up to go to the bathroom or maybe to start breakfast. Instead of signs of life in their townhouse though all Blaise saw was a neatly folded piece of parchment with his name scrawled across the side facing him. A chill of dread ran through him as he opened both eyes and sat up to read the note.

_My love,_

_I am so sorry to do this but I think we both know that this is for the best. Please know I love you with all my heart and I will always hold onto the memories we made. But you need to make the most of your life and you can’t do that with the weight of an ex-Death Eater holding you back. You can’t take advantage of the life you have earned if I am constantly there. I love you with all of my heart and will for the rest of my days, there is no one else for me but you. But please, go do the best things in life and take a bite out of this world. And don’t forget that I love you and I’m doing this for you._

_I love you._

_Always yours,_

_Draco Malfoy_

Blaise didn’t realize he was crying until the first tear hit the parchment in his hand. He and Draco had had this discussion a lot in the months since the post-war trials had ended and the truth about Draco’s involvement had come to light. Despite everyone finding out that he was actually on the light side they still distrusted him and called him a self-serving coward. All of the whispers in the streets and the gossip articles in the Prophet had slowly been taking their toll on his boyfriend. But Blaise hadn’t thought it would get to this point, even in his worst nightmares he dreamed he and Draco would make it through this together.

Clutching the pillow that still smelled of his lover to his chest Blaise let the tears start falling openly. Tomorrow would be a new day where he could start dealing with the pain in a healthy and productive way. Today he was going to let himself feel it in the worst way and wallow in it.

~~~~~

Dropping his bag on the hardwood floor of the empty flat he had purchased in New York Draco looked around trying not to crumble under the pain of what he had done. It really was best for him that he start a new life somewhere that the name Malfoy didn’t ring any bells, and it was best for Blaise to not have to defend his boyfriend at every turn. But that didn’t stop the fully furnished apartment he was standing in after taking a portkey halfway around the world from feeling empty.

Blaise had been a constant in his life and his room since first year when they got put in a dorm together. In sixth year the other man had become his confidant when the burden of what he was expected to do became too much. In seventh year Blaise had been his lover in a desperate fling when they were both sure they wouldn’t live to see the end of the war and they wanted to feel alive for a few moments. And then after the war, after redoing seventh year at Hogwarts, after _everything_ , Blaise asked Draco to stay and be his partner. Sometime between random nights of passion and early mornings talking away their demons the pair had fallen in love and Blaise realized if he didn’t say something Draco would disappear from his life forever.

Draco tried to believe the fairy tale Blaise was spinning for them but with every gossip column and every whisper in the streets it got harder and harder. Finally, it got to be too much and Draco started to quietly prepare to go away so he wouldn’t be a burden anymore. And now that he was here all he wanted to do was hug Blaise and hear his voice reassuring him he would be okay.

~~~~~

The next month passed in a fog for Blaise. He was sure he repeated the story of how Draco left him a dozen times or more, at this point he could tell it on autopilot. It was strange waking up in the bed they used to share alone, the lack of another person in the apartment felt wrong on so many levels.

“Blaise? Where are you sulking now?” Pansy called out as she let herself in through the front door. “I brought vodka, we are going to get drunk and get you feeling better!” Her voice grew steadily closer as she wandered through rooms until she made it to the bedroom where Blaise was sprawled across the bed lost in self-pity.

He didn’t even bother sitting up to shoo Pansy away. “I appreciate the offer Pans, but I really think I just want to be alone tonight.”

“Nonsense. You’ve been alone far too much while I’ve been gone according to the rest of the Slytherins.” Pansy aid in her typical snooty voice as she made herself comfortable on the edge of the bed and conjured two crystal glasses. “I thought you said you would be okay if I went to New York for a week on business?”

Sighing Blaise sat up and accepted the glass Pansy held out to him, slamming back the double shot with ease after all the parties in the Slytherin common room. “I am fine, or at least as fine as someone who just lost the love of their life could be.” He spat out, holding out the glass for a refill. If Pansy wanted to get him drunk he might as well play along, not like the stubborn witch would leave if he didn’t.

Pansy quirked an eyebrow as she downed her own shot then filled both glasses again. “Alright that’s fair. But you really shouldn’t wallow. You know that isn’t what he wanted you to do.”

“Right because it’s all about what _Draco_ wants, that’s all it's ever been about.” Blaise grumbled as he took his second shot much more slowly than he had the first. “Never mind what I wanted, never mind that I was going to propose to him.”

Caught by surprise Pansy paused with her shot halfway to her mouth. “You were going to propose?!”

Cringing slightly at the shriek that was far too close to his ear, Blaise fished his wand out from under his pillow to summon the ring from its hiding spot. “Had that custom designed for him; got the owl that it was ready the day before he left me.”

Pansy took the small box and opened it carefully, gasping when she saw the platinum band that was engraved to look like dragon scales with small emeralds glistening at seemingly random points. “Blaise, this is stunning!”

“Thanks Pans, if you want it take it. It hurts to keep it in the house after everything, but I can’t bear to get rid of it either.”

When Blaise said that the wheels started turning in Pansy’s head. “I’ll take it and keep it safe but if you want it back you just need to tell me alright?”

Blaise shook his head indicating that he wouldn’t want it back and held out his glass for another shot. “I appreciate it Pans, but I don’t think I’ll ever want to see that again unless it somehow has Draco attached to it.”

Keeping her plotting to herself, Pansy silently filled both glasses and then held up hers for a toast. “Well here’s is to a better brighter future for all of us.”

Blaise smiled sadly and clinked his glass against hers before knocking back his third double of the evening, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol creep through his body. Maybe Pansy was right, maybe this would end up being alright in the long run. “Let's stop talking and finish getting drunk, we can talk about the future when it gets here.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Pansy agreed with a chuckle as she poured them both another double. The next few hours passed in a steadily blurrier haze as the pair talked about nothing in particular.

~~~~~

Two days later Pansy was tapping her toe impatiently as she waited for Draco to buzz her into his building. “Draco Alphard Malfoy get your arse out of bed and talk to me damn it.” She shouted as she leaned on the intercom again. A few moments later there was a buzz that indicated that the building was open for her to go through, so she grabbed the door and yanked it opened before it could relock. With a nod to the doorman she stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for Draco’s floor and waited for it to rise the full thirty stories.

“Morning Pans, what couldn’t have waited until a reasonable hour?” Draco called from the door of his flat as she stepped out of the elevator.

“This, you insufferable prat.” Pansy said, shoving the small box she was holding into Draco’s chest as she pushed past him into the apartment.

Draco quirked an eyebrow at her but pried the small box open to peer inside. “Wow, who’s the lucky bloke?” Draco whistled as he followed Pansy into his kitchen where she had already set about putting on a kettle of tea.

“It was supposed to be you, you arse. Blaise had that custom made for you and was going to propose before you fucked off to live in America alone. Tell me this, did you even think about asking him if he wanted to go with you?”

Running his finger along the scales Draco shrugged noncommittally, mentally reeling at the idea that Blaise had wanted to marry him _of all people_. Draco wasn’t worth ruining his name for, shite he was barely worth loving much less marrying. Yet he was holding the proof, or at least what Pansy claimed was proof, that Blaise had wanted to do just that. It just didn’t add up in Draco’s mind so he chose to push it aside and go back to the issue at hand. “He would have said yes just to be with me and I didn’t want him to give up his life just for me.”

Without warning, Pansy wheeled around on her heel and smacked Draco across the face. “You. Are. An. IDIOT! That’s what you do for love, you selfish arse! I’ve watched Blaise become a shadow of the man he was with you because he is so broken without you and here you are hurting just as bad but refusing to do something to fix it!” Pansy shrieked, finally saying what she had been holding back for the last three weeks. “He loves you enough to marry you, for Merlin knows what reason, and you are so selfish that all you can think about is you and your name. Fucking get over it!”

Stunned, Draco stared at Pansy with the hand that wasn’t clutching his ring resting against his stinging cheek. Apparently, you really could smack some sense into someone because between the ring and the smack he was suddenly feeling like a complete fool. “Do you think he will forgive me now? I can’t just show up on his doorstep after three weeks and act like nothing is wrong.”

“Yes, you can. He might smack you but that man misses you more than he would miss a limb.” Pansy said, her voice still borderline shrieky. “And if you don’t get your arse home within the next forty-eight hours I am going to tell him exactly where to find you and he can come to yell at you himself.

Draco eyed his best friend briefly before sighing and heading off to his bedroom to get dressed. He might as well get this over with before Pansy stuck to her word and made his life hell. “Give me twenty minutes to get showered and dressed then you can drag me to the house and I can grovel and apologize.”

“You’ve got an hour!” Pansy shouted back as she made herself at home at the counter with her tea mug. Blaise was probably going to be furious with her for what she did but it would be worth it.

Four hours later the pair were standing at the door of the house Blaise and Draco used to share. Draco was shifting nervously, worried about how Blaise was going to react to finding him standing on the steps again after what he had done a few weeks before. Behind him Pansy was tapping her toe with her arms folded across her chest, waiting for Draco to either man up and knock on the door or try to run away. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself Draco raised his hand and knocked. He might as well face whatever was on the other side of the door sooner rather than later.

“Pans? What are you doing coming by this late?” Blaise asked as he pulled open the door. When he saw who was standing on the other side his heart dropped to his feet and he flew the last few steps to wrap his arms around the man standing in front of him. “You’re here?!” He whispered disbelievingly as he clung to his partner.

“I’m here and I want to apologize for being such an arse.” Draco murmured back, clinging to Blaise just as tightly. As he took in the warmth of the man in his arms he wondered how he could have ever been stupid enough to think they would be better without each other. Before he could get too comfortable though he felt Blaise pulling away.

“So you think you can just waltz back in here and be forgiven for the hell you’ve put me through if you say sorry?” Blaise hissed as he stepped back, his emerald eyes growing darker with every word. “Do you know how hellish these last three weeks have been? How lonely and lost I’ve been because you decided to be a self-sacrificing arse? But now you’re over it and you want to go back to how things were because you think I’ll just up and forgive you? Fuck you, Draco!” Blaise shouted before slamming the door in Draco’s face.

As Draco stood staring at the door in dumbfounded shock Pansy tried her best not to snicker behind him. “You deserved that and so much worse. Come on, let's go back to my place and decide what to do next.” She said, trying her best to keep her voice level.

“Yeah, alright.” Draco sighed, staring at the door and feeling like he had really fucked up beyond repair this time. They could go get something to eat and try and brainstorm a grand romantic gesture as a last-ditch effort, but Draco wasn’t holding out much hope at this point. His mother had always told him that his selfish tendencies were going to bite him in the arse just like they had his father; now years later her words were coming true and she wasn’t even here to see it.

As they puttered around Pansy’s kitchen throwing together a late night snack-food buffet, Pansy smiled reassuringly at Draco. “Don’t worry, he loves you and he’ll come around.”

Shrugging Draco turned to grab a couple of bottles of ale out of the fridge before heading into the living room where they had started laying out their spread in front of the telly. “Grail?”

“Already queued up and ready to go.” Pansy replied as she walked into the room behind him holding the ice cream to round out their feast. Before she could sit down to enjoy their bounty her floo in the kitchen flared to life.

“Pans? Did you bring Draco here?” Blaise called out hesitantly.

Quirking an eyebrow at Draco Pansy shrugged and passed him the ice cream before heading back into the kitchen. “Yes, I did. Which one of us do you want to talk to?”

“Him, please. Can you head back to my place and give us some privacy?”

“Alright but no throwing hexes in my house, I just had it redecorated last month.” Pansy agreed, rolling her eyes as she ducked through the fireplace right as Draco walked back into the room curiously.

“You here to tell me to get out of Britain again?” Draco asked dejectedly.

“No. I’m here to ask why you didn’t ask me to go with you.”

“Because I am an idiot who didn’t want you to blindly give up everything you have here just to make me happy. I know that was stupid of me and now I see I was only thinking about me and not what you would actually want. If there is any way I can make it up to you please tell me and I will do it.”

Blaise studied the man who he could see falling apart before him, trying to decide if he had it in his heart to give him a second chance and trust that he wouldn’t be this selfish again. Taking a deep breath Blaise took the two steps to close the distance and pulled Draco into his arms. “If you ever do anything that stupid again I will personally make sure no spell on earth can find your remains.” Blaise murmured into Draco’s hair as he took in the scent he had been missing for so long.

“I can agree to that.” Draco chuckled, nuzzling deeper into Blaise’s neck and silently thanking Merlin that Blaise was crazy enough to give him another chance. “Can we go home and figure out where _home_ will be from now on?”

Pressing a kiss into Draco’s hair Blaise nodded his agreement. “That sounds like a good plan. Plus I need to talk to Pansy and get something back from her.”

“Erm would that something be a platinum ring with emeralds in it?” Draco asked sheepishly, trying not to look guilty.

Blaise quirked his eyebrow and nodded, trying to figure out how Draco knew about his engagement ring.

Fishing the box out of his trouser pocket Draco held it out to Blaise. “She kinda threw it at me before she smacked me and started laying into me about being an arse.”

Blaise snickered and took the box and opened it before taking Draco’s left hand. “Well since the cat’s out of the bag, will you marry me Draco?”

“Only if I can be Mr. Zabini and get rid of the Malfoy name for good.”

“I’m only agreeing to that because I can practically feel your father spinning in his grave.” Blaise agreed with a laugh as he slid the ring onto Draco’s finger. “Now let’s go tell Pansy the good news then have spectacular make-up sex.”

Draco laughed and kissed Blaise quickly before taking his hand and tugging him through the fireplace to go home and get started on the celebrations.


End file.
